Author: Kimmie Olson

I have a friend; I call her my Future Wife BFF. She’s amazing, and we tend to go on a lot of adventures together. We’ve road-tripped to Las Vegas, Texas, Iowa, South Dakota, spent the weekend on a yacht, and drove the entire Route 66 together.

Last week we decided to float down the river in tubes. She has the perfect setup: tubes with netting on the bottom so you don’t have to worry about any fish nibbling your tush, a tube for my cooler and all the other shit I tend to bring (unicorn floating speaker, bubble maker, extra bubble juice, sunscreen, all the things…..)

It was a beautiful day. Super hot and a perfect day for being on the water. We got in the river without incident. Started up Creed on the unicorn speaker and fired up the bubble machine:

My FWBFF is pretty smart; she brought a paddle so we could navigate ourselves around the downed trees and keep ourselves off the shoreline. We floated a good hour and then…..

Someone (stop looking at me) got the unicorn speaker stuck in a downed tree. The river was trying to pull us downstream; we were trying to rescue the unicorn. Her speaker fell out, but guess what? IT FLOATS! And it floated right to me. I grabbed it, and eventually we got the unicorn free. Unfortunately, we capsized the unicorn again, and we lost the speaker. Next time I’ll need to strap it in somehow.

We floated on for another hour, and FWBFF asks, “I wonder where we are?”

I didn’t wonder where we were. We were floating down the river. I probably made some smart-ass comment accordingly and laughed.

Thirty minutes later, FWBFF asks again, “I wonder where we are?”

There seemed to be a hint of panic in her voice, so I pulled up my phone and our location for her. I’m slightly puzzled, though, because FWBFF doesn’t tend to go into panic mode; that’s usually my job. I handed her my phone to show her where we were. She doesn’t seem relieved. I jokingly asked her if she had plans for later that night. She said she did. I said, “Oh. You might be late.” And I offered to paddle to get us down the river faster. We took turns with the paddle, trying to get to where we had parked my car at the landing. We paddled for another hour.

I took my phone out again so I could show her our progress. Uh. We didn’t have much progress. I asked her what landing we were supposed to get to, and I looked it up from our location. It was still ten miles away….by car. We’re on a winding river going 1-2 miles per hour….fuck. Now I started to realize why she was panicking. I started to panic too. We thought about just going over to the bank and getting out, but we had no idea if there were roads nearby. I called Nathan and asked him to look up where we were and help us with an exit plan. He said, according to my location on his phone, we were somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Sounded legit to me…

Then he said it looked like there was a clearing close by and we had to get to the shore asap. We paddled like crazy and made it to the shore.

Then we deflated the tubes so they would be easier to carry and dragged all our stuff up, as in I had to drag all the shit I brought with, up the riverbank. At the top of the bank was a steep ravine and a path that looked like it sorta followed the river. Which do we pick? Steep ravine or the path? We thought going up the ravine would be the best choice. Then we could see what was around us. So we hauled all our crap, again, mostly my crap, up the ravine. At the top of the ravine, the first thing I noticed was someone’s trail camp attached to a tree. I stuck my face in the camera and screamed,” WE NEED HELP! HELP US!” Then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably.

FWBFF spotted a deer blind and said we should be close to a house; let’s follow this path and see where it goes. So we did.

It went directly to a house. (She’s so smart.) We walked up from the back; we’re exhausted from being on the water for so many hours. She looks at me and asks if we’re just going to cut right through their yard. I say, “Fuck yeah we are.” So we did.

We got through their yard and dropped all our crap (again, mostly mine) under a tree at the end of their driveway. FWBFF called her husband to come pick us up. Then….The owners of the house came out. They looked concerned and confused. We started laughing and said, “Hi! Sorry we cut through your yard. We miscalculated our tube ride.” They seemed relieved we didn’t seem too crazy (they don’t know us), and we chitchatted for a bit. We assured them someone was coming to pick us up. And he did.

We did the calculations; it probably would’ve taken us NINE more hours to get to that landing…Thank goodness we got out when we did.

Midlife has never felt so good.

~Kimmie, XOXO

July is a tough month for my Sissy and me. A long time ago, I was over eight months pregnant with my first child. Her name is Shea Marie. The night before she was born, I was in a horrific car accident. I gave birth to her stillborn the next day, and then the doctors found out that I had fractured my spine and shattered my pelvis during the accident. I suffer from a lot of PTSD and long-term traumatic brain injury. There are many times when my brain just doesn’t work quite right. I spent years relearning how to walk and still have paralysis in the toes on my left foot.

My Sissy was only 11 years old when the accident happened. Not only was she home alone with a friend just a couple of years older than her when the call about the accident came in, but she was the person who took care of my brokenness when I was finally released from the hospital. Can you imagine being 11 years old, taking care of your older sister after she lost her child and is physically and mentally broken? I can’t.

For as long as I can remember, we’ve spent Shea’s death day together. I’d like to say that we don’t ever have a plan, but that’s untrue. The plan is that she and I are together that day, and we have a bologna and American cheese sandwich on white bread, with chips. That’s the only plan.

This year, she sent me a text: “You care what time I come over? I ASSumed I’m coming to your place.”

I said, “I ASSumed you were coming over too!”

She asked if she could bring anything, and I told her to bring whatever she wanted to drink. I’d get the rest.

Then she asked if I had a pool, because it’s been hotter than anyone can remember this summer. I knew she meant a kiddy pool so we could soak our feet. I told her no, I didn’t have a pool. I knew she had one, and maybe she’d bring hers. BUT….her question was in my brain. While I was on my walk (remember, I’m training for that marathon with my Sissy) the next day, I kept thinking about that pool…

I went to Target to see if they had any small pools left. They did not. I was pretty bummed. Then checked Walmart’s app, and they had a couple of pools in stock. Heck yeah! 23 hours after the text “Do you have a pool?” I was the proud owner of this magnificent pool:

She showed up, and we walked together and chatted. It was good. When we got back to my house, I made our Grief Sandwiches, and she informed me that the drink of choice she brought was tequila. I took her into the backyard to show off my new pool. She was impressed. 😂

Remember, I just got and filled that pool up the day before. Sooooooo….the water was really fucking cold. But we were determined to soak. I say “soak” because I forgot to get us some floaties so we could float. We enjoyed our tequila plus bubbly waters and proclaimed Natron our Pool Boiiiii. He checked on us and asked if we’d want hot water from the water heater. Uh, hellz yes we would. Natron then proceeded to bring out 5-gallon buckets of hot water and dumped them in the pool. I’m pretty sure he hauled 35 gallons of hot water to our pool….It was perfect. Except the fact that we had no floaties. Sooooo…. being the Grief Sisters we are, we asked if he’d run to Target for us to buy us some floaties. Annnnnnndddd….we wanted chips, salsa, and queso from the local Mexican restaurant. Of course he complied; how can you refuse Grief Sisters?!?!

We even got out the bubble machine, and we played yacht rock on a mini speaker that I hadn’t lost in a river yet¹.

And we talked about Shea, and us, and our family (our family is severely broken, but that’s a story for a different day.) We had The Pool Boiiiii refill beverages, and we floated on floaties made for eight-year-olds. Laughing, crying, talking, and just being with each other.

I’d like to think Shea would’ve loved her birth/death day this year. I know I did. It was hard as always, but I had my Sissy as always.

Midlife has never felt so good, even when it’s really fucking hard.

~Kimmie, XOXO

1. Wait for it………………….. ↩︎

You ever have one of those days? Where you wake up, and life just feels so damn good? And even though you got an awkward text from your boss the night before and you decide to go into work on your day off to chat with her about it, you still feel like the world is yours.

Then you chat with your boss, and by the end of the conversation, nothing is awkward anymore. You both agree that things could’ve been handled better, and you both laugh with each other, and all is good again.

You stop at a shop down the strip mall from work, and one of your coffee shop regulars is there. He leaves, you both say “Hi and Bye” then you get to chatting with the young man working there. Turns out the regular from the coffee shop is his dad. The young man says, “Do you know my dad? He goes there all the time!” You say, “Oh yeah! He gets a small white chocolate mint condition, half the chocolate, no whip, keep the toppings, and in a medium cup.” The young man says, “OH! You do know my dad!” And the two of you laugh together.

Then, on your way to Home Depot, you spot a lemonade stand. You pull over and get out of the car. The kids get super excited and hollar, “Are you getting lemonade?!?!?” And you say, “Absolutely!” They pour your cup of lemonade as you’re walking towards them. You ask them how much it is. They say, “One dollar.” You hand them a twenty and tell them to keep the change. Next thing you know, the kids are screaming and high-fiving you, jumping up and down, and you’re all laughing together.

When you get to Home Depot, you tell a woman she has pretty hair, and everywhere you stop, you make sure to be genuinely nice to everyone you see.

And you end up with an epic day, just because you reached into your pocket full of sunshine and shared it with everyone you saw.

Midlife has never felt so good.

~Kimmie, XOXO

A little backstory: I’ve had my share of injuries and surgeries over the years. I *used* to be a “runner” many years ago, but after two ankle fusions and a neck fusion…my running days were over. Or so I thought…

Over a year ago, I was messing around on TikTok and decided to start walking three times a week. In one of my posts, I mentioned that I had wanted to run a marathon, but with all of the injuries and surgeries I’ve had, I didn’t think it would be possible. 

Well, I kept up with walking all last spring and summer. And I was celebrating my birthday with my husband, my sissy, and her boyfriend at a local Mexican restaurant. We started chatting about my walking and probably had one too many margaritas….next thing you know, my sissy and I are signed up for a marathon in October 2026!

I kept up with my walking all through fall, and when winter came, I bought a walking pad. All winter and the beginning of spring, I used that walking pad. I was so thankful when mid-spring came, and I could walk outside again! 

Here’s the thing: I didn’t really have a plan of how I was going to go from walking to running that marathon. So my sister sent me in the direction of Hal Higdon, and we decided to use his beginner training plan. We counted back the weeks, and official marathon training started June 1st. I started unofficial training May 1st. Four days a week, mostly walking, throwing in a few runs to see how it would feel. It felt okay!

So here I am, three weeks into official training for an October marathon!

I’ve been doing great! Staying healthy and injury-free, listening to my body, and slowing down when I need to. Last week I was sick, like sick sick, and I took the whole week off. I was supposed to do my biggest run¹ yet last Saturday, 10 miles, but there was no way I was able to do it when I was so sick, so I continued to rest.

Nathan and I talked about how I could get my big run in, and we decided that as long as I felt good Monday, I’d do it then. Monday came, and I got ready for my run. I had a great warm-up and started my intervals. Things were going awesome! I had a nice walk/run pace. I felt like I could go forever. Around mile six, I was running on a bridge that spanned a highway. Someone *beep beep beeped* at me! I thought:

A. I either look like I’m dying and I could use an encouragement *beep beep beep.*

or

2. I looked like I was badass and it was a “You fucking go! *beep beep beep*

In my head, I picked option 2!

And then came Mile Seven. Oooof. The heat started to get to me. It was 78 degrees and two billion percent humidity, so it felt like “91 degrees.” I started slowing down, which was okay; “just keep putting one foot in front of the other”, I told myself. I’ve got this! At one point, I started a run interval, and I knew in fact that I did not *have* this. I chose to do a second walking interval, determined to start running after another small break. I tried again. It was a no-go. I checked my distance, and I was about two miles from home; if I walked the whole thing, it would probably take me at least 45 minutes in this heat. While I so badly wanted to get the 10 miles in, I also knew I wasn’t going to make it. I called Nathan to come pick me up, and good thing I did. By the time he got to me, I was finished. Completely trashed. Done.

He brought me home, I grabbed my ice water and sat on our bench to cool down. Nathan went back inside to work, and I chilled out. I was so hot. I took my tank top off and just hung out in my sports bra and booty running spanks.

Then my mailman walked up to me and delivered me a package….

And now my mailman has basically seen me naked. 😳

Midlife has never felt so good.

~Kimmie, XOXO

1. I say “run” but I’m still at the walk/run stage of my training. I’ve gotten it to three-minute intervals of walking, then running. ↩︎